Mother's vow: Carly's death won't be in vain

I won't let Carly's death be in vain

SEAN FEWSTER
January 30, 2010 12:01am
Article from: The Advertiser

CARLY Ryan's mother has refused to surrender to despair, vowing to dedicate her life to saving others from the fate that befell her murdered daughter.

Speaking for the first time since the teenager's killer was convicted, Sonya Ryan said urgent action, such as compulsory seminars for Year 8 students, was needed to educate children about internet dangers.

Ms Ryan, 38, also threw her support behind new federal laws, proposed by independent senator Nick Xenophon, that would make lying to children on the internet a crime.

Yesterday, Ms Ryan told The Advertiser her focus "had to be" on the future, not the past.

"A future without Carly is just too terrifying to imagine, like someone switched off the light that she brought into our lives," she said. "You can either fall into that blackness and completely give up or you step into the light and do what you can - and that's trying to help others.

"What else is there? It's pretty much the only choice I have. If I have to be here without Carly, then my aim is to help create awareness."

On January 21, Ms Ryan sat in the back row of the Supreme Court and watched as a jury found a Victorian man guilty of murdering her 15-year-old daughter.

It was the first time she had seen the 50-year-old since she kicked him out of her home three years earlier.

At that time, she had believed the man's name was Shane and that he was the adopted father of Miss Ryan's internet boyfriend, Brandon Kane.

In truth, both "Brandon" and "Shane" were personas the man had adopted to seduce Miss Ryan into a sexual relationship.

Ms Ryan ordered "Shane" to leave her home after finding him sleeping in the same bed as her daughter.

Weeks later, the man would use his cyberspace alter ego to convince Miss Ryan to go with him to Port Elliot, where he bashed and drowned her.

"Carly would be utterly horrified to know the level of deception of that man," Ms Ryan said yesterday.

"A lot of people believe whatever they read on the internet is true, especially children . . . they believe what they see, but there is just so much deception out there and on so many levels.

"All it takes is for a trusting teen to believe what a predator is saying to them and their safety is instantly taken out of their hands.

"Carly was a very compassionate young lady and she would be wanting all of us to do whatever we can to stop this happening again in the future to another young girl."

Ms Ryan said parents had to educate themselves about the internet.

"I think that parents are unaware of what their children are doing online," she said. "They need to be more actively involved and checking their children's websites, looking at the mediums they are using, checking their profiles and who they are speaking to."

Teachers and governments, she said, had to work together to warn children about online predators. "Kids put whatever they like on their MySpace and Facebook pages - their schools, their telephone numbers, their movements - just completely unaware that anybody can look at that information," she said.

"The internet is getting bigger and bigger, and this problem is only going to get worse - something needs to be actively done and people need to start taking this seriously.

"I think there should be compulsory school seminars on internet awareness and safety for Year 8 students."

Ms Ryan said she would create a foundation, in her daughter's name, to further internet awareness and child safety. She called on the public to contact her with suggestions and initiatives.

"There has been enough suffering over the past three years," she said. "Not just for me but for Carly's family, her friends, the lady who found her on the beach, the police and the prosecutors.

"Now, the best thing I can do is get out there and try to help others prevent this happening in the future.

"I just try to always think `What would Carly want me to do?' and I know, in my heart of hearts, that is getting this message out . . ."

For more information, email carlyryanfoundation@live.com.au