What I feel about today.

Hoping that today will be a wonderful day, it turns out to be a demotivating day.

I get back my Math's paper. I failed. I scored so badly. Never, since I was in primary school, I never fail in any test! I feel so depressed today.

It is enough.

For these two weeks, I feel depressed two times. I was trying really hard to control myself not to cry out. Anytime I think back of the sad story, I will soon feel wetness around my eyes. It is such a hard task to let myself calm down, to let myself not to thik too much, not to let myself feel so unhappy.

In the previous post, I mentioned that I am targeting on happiness in my life. Seriously, no joke. Happiness is the most important thing in life, based on what I think. But, I do not manage to do it today. I know it is not easy to achieve.

I am wondering, how come I can fail in my test this time? Is it I did not put sufficient effort? Or I did not try my best? I am not serious towards this test???
Iis that the case?

I don't know.

Well, I am sure that I was already put my highest effort and try my best to tackle every question given in the paper. At that time, I was so confused by the question. There were altogether 4 questions, and sadly, (I thought) I managed to answer at least question no. 4. The remaining questions almost drive me out of the paper. Although I have idea on how to solve it after a couple times of repeating logical thinking, I still get 0 for two of the question. Why? And even the last question that I was quite confident about, lose a couple marks, not because I was careless, but because I thought the formulas should be like that. I have the wrong piece of information in my head, and that's why i did mistakes.

My concept is wrong, probably I do not understand this chapter. Previously, I thought I understand those concepts.

After a few rounds of analyzing my mistakes, I found out that I do not understand this chapter that I supposed to.

It has been a hard time for me in class this morning. I can't even face my lecturer in class. It is the feeling that I did not putting right effort and approach to study what she taught. Shame!

I cannot continue anymore. I will stop now.